Dealing with criticism and gossip mongors

 

Having been involved in equestrianism now for over 35years, and being a professional for over 20, I've been on the receiving end of both positive and negative comments made by people. 

 

How did these comments affect me and did it have an impact on me as a professional? The simple answer to this is yes and no, on both accounts. 

 

When I was young and starting out on my own as a trainer, I wanted to be the best, doesn't everyone? I spent a very long time studying other trainers and riders, watching how, why, when they did what they did to achieve what they did, either with their riding or their training, sometimes sitting in on lessons for days on end, notepad and pen taking notes. I think I may have been a pain to some trainers, as I would question (at appropriate moments obviously) why they chose an exercise, or what the response they felt after riding a certain movement, but I was never chastised for it, just a gut feeling of "oh no, she's here again!" But those early days served me well, I gave up my own time to educate myself, which has never failed me.

 

Why does this have bearing on this blog? Well, having studied the trainers who were getting results with their own horses, and seeing the results their clients were achieving, coupled with studying for, and passing my own exams, I built up a solid foundation of knowledge which I still fall back on all these years later, albeit some methods have changed and as new knowledge is developed those methods are tailored to the here and now, ensuring that training methods I use today are matched to the horse or client in question.

 

 But what about THIS blog??

 

Ok, so this blog is supposed to be about criticism and gossips yes? Yes, however I think it's important to look at why criticism or gossip happens in the first place, that way it helps you understand why you may have it, sadly, aimed towards you personally.

 

Over the years I have trained countless riders and horses, and "onlookers" have witnessed a huge variety of methods I used. The problem is, those onlookers had no idea of:

 

1. Where the horse started out in its training 
2. How much, or little the rider knew
3. What the relationship to that particular days training was to the overall training
4. Where the horse is CURRENTLY in its training
5. Whether the horse or rider or the combination were having an "off day" if the onlooker witnessed something other than pure harmony, which is obviously highest on the list, but sadly often not the case when that "off day" occurs
6. What the lesson goals are for that particular days work, e.g. Watching a rider simply stretching their horse when the onlooker "knows" that rider has a competition in a couple of days time and deems the chosen work to be ineffective, yes it did and still does happen(!) 

 

I could list a few more, but I think you get my drift here?!

 

So, these "onlookers" have now made an assumption that what I am doing is wrong, therefore they go tell their friend, who tells their friend and so on, and the Chinese whispers grow. Funny how these "onlookers" are never around to see, and spread the news, when the horse goes well or the riders are achieving their goals eh?!! 

 

Anyway, in the early days it hurt to be honest, I knew what I was doing was right, perhaps not perfect, even now I sometimes think back to riders who had difficulties with certain things and I will be teaching someone going through a similar experience and think oh if only I knew about this method back then, but hey, that's life, knowledge grows with experience, however when I would hear bad things being said I would quite often question my own abilities to do what I loved, and on one occasion was met with some incredibly hurtful criticism and for a short while I didn't teach as it had caused me great distress, however after time to evaluate the comments made, which I still replay every now and again in my head, I knew I couldn't not teach, its what I do (!) and actually it all turned out to be pure jealousy, which is quite often the root cause of criticism anyway. 

 

Very rarely would you hear anything positive said, and back then you didn't have the likes of twitter or Facebook (actually internet, wow I'm THAT old !) so it was incredibly hard to "promote" yourself. The horses I rode, owned and trained were never world beaters, but they were all I had, and as mentioned, with no way to "promote" myself it was down to good old fashioned hard work and determination to prove myself by training these horses to the very best of mine, and their ability, which could be showcased at competitions, which were few and far between when finances were little and costs high, but I did the best I could.

 

Leaping forward to now, I don't feel there is any change in people's opinions, in fact now we have the internet, I feel people are now much nastier as they can hide behind their keyboards and slate people in the safety of their home, but I'd say the tongue is still a very destructive thing and Chinese whispers are very much still alive and, sadly, all too familiar. 

 

So how do I deal with negative criticism? The simple answer is nowadays I listen to it, and think for a moment why those people have said what they have and unless their in any justification for it, I ignore it, mostly it is actually laughable, as I know my training is justifiable, I welcome people to sit in on lessons should they wish, (clients obviously informed and asked first!) or ask questions, either as I did all those years ago, or comment on things I share on my social media pages to gain an insight into what I'm doing and why. 

 

 

Obviously positive criticism is to be enjoyed, but sadly their is a shortage of positive people in the world, so spreading bad news is far more satisfying for some people, a sad state of affairs really. 

 

In conclusion, over the years of building knowledge and never allowing myself to stop learning, has meant that I can be positive about criticism, even when it really hurts, and use it to push myself harder to learn more and become a better trainer, and person, from it. Such a shame the gossip mongers don't apply the same principles really... 

 

From working hard...  to rehab..... to now...

 

So, here we are, May 2017, my last blog about Rocky was back in August 2016, a whole 9 months ago (no I haven't had a baby!!). Why the wait? Well, let me give you a small insight into the past hellish 9 months.....

 August 2016...

 We had been comfortably working novice level. We were competing, we filmed for Equestrian Pro TV, we got a new lorry, we moved to a lovely new yard with all the facilities we needed to go further and things felt like they were falling into place, however…

September to December 2016.....  

 There was a slow decline in training and behaviour, which came out as spooking (much more than the usual "ooh look a monster" type of spook) resistance when asked to open his stride (medium trot type steps) which did improve after Physio treatment as he was tight and when he feels he "can't" he tends to resist, but he was also generally being a thug to handle, now everyone knows my boy and knows he can occasionally be lively on the ground, but never unmanageable, however I put this all down to him being on the autumn grass and being fitter, during September moving through to October, but by December when the grass had gone, we had no improvement. 

 We kept going with Physio to keep his back soft, which lasted a couple of weeks, even though his work had backed off and he was only being asked gentle questions, he still didn't feel like the Rocky I had always known.

 By mid-December I had a thought that perhaps he may be growing again, Alex had mentioned how much he had developed when she came to treat him, so with my wedding coming up in January, and the fact that I had been in hospital (again!!) and was pretty much off games anyway, I decided to give him time out, that way I would know if the growing was behind this....

 February 2017...

My wedding had come and gone, Rocky had been off work since mid-December, so Alex visited to check things before I started him again. I began with simple long reigning, to which I was faced with movements only seen in the Spanish riding school!! So I assumed we were good to go...

After a week of walking on the long reins I jumped on board and was pretty much met with Decembers behaviour, resistance and an unhappy boy, I was gutted. 

 I spoke to my trainer Karen, as I knew she had a very good vet and if I was going to get one in, I wanted the best!! An email to Kings Bounty Equine Practice asking for help resulted in an appointment made for the next week with Janette Palliser, who I know refer to as god!! 

 I was aware that there may be some issues, and expected to find something, just not sure what, but after 2 hours of intensive investigation from Janette, which included flexions, ridden assessment, lunge assessment, nerve blocking and more, the conclusion was a 4-legged lameness! Well you could have blown me over with a feather, I never expected that!!! The feeling of guilt is one I'll never lose, but as I was told, 4-legged lameness is so rare, I wouldn't have been expected to see it, but still, it was 100% guilt feeling I asked, he tried, then he said no actually, enough is enough, I can’t.

 So, the next, obvious, question was - can you fix him? Janette was so clear and thorough with explaining the steps towards the journey we were about to undertake, but the answer was yes, hopefully(!) 

 Plans were made and over the next few weeks we had X-rays and scans done to find the problems with the four legs, which turned out to be OCD in the hocks and some irregularities in the front feet, which were injected first, then a couple of weeks later we did the hocks, all of which responded beautifully to treatment.

   

Janette also wanted Rocky to have Physio with an H Wave machine, so I gave Sorcha Monoley a call to see what she felt could be done to help with the tightness still apparent in the right quarter and lumbar area, clearly all caused through him not able to use his hocks, which I now feel has been a very long standing issue, but as always, we only look for the obvious answers don't we? 

 After Sorcha's treatment, we followed a very strict rehab programme, however on a check-up with Janette, there had been only the slightest improvement in the back, so we decided to do Physio under sedation, when the machine could penetrate deeper into the lumbar area.

 During this period, Rocky also had his teeth done, his saddle checked and feet done, all to rule out any other hidden issues, nothing of which were found to be a problem.

Janette and Sorcha came, sedated, treated, and left me with more rehab to do....

 Rehab now included ridden work, gentle walking in straight lines, hacking to all intent and purpose, now I don't need to explain to anyone who has followed my journey on my Facebook page since backing to competition, how the,  “rocky - hacking – walking”  thing is just a bad idea, however as I was following orders I donned my brave pants ( gave rocky the sedalin I'd been given) and off we went.... well, another "knock me down with a feather moment" apparently, we can do hacking, who knew?! Well, actually that feeling was felt for the first half of the ride, then the true hacking came back and I was found grabbing hold of the oh *+^>  strap while my bronco mount found his feet. Hmmm was this naughty/pain/or was the sedalin wearing off?? Hmmmm....

 I continued with rehab, without the sedalin as I felt this was not a great combination, if he was going to launch into space, I at least wanted his legs to work on landing!!! In my heart of hearts I was at a loss, rehab just didn't seem to be going anywhere - expect skywards - and that couldn't be doing him any good at all, could it?

 Check-up day again, Sorcha and Janette both came to see how his back was doing, and it was a gut wrenching moment when they both agreed it was in fact now worse that before due to the erratic behaviour during rehab, I admit to almost crying by now, what could I do? 

 After some lengthy conversation, the decision was made to inject the sacroiliac to break down any tissue that wasn't doing as it was meant to, and do another H wave treatment again, which was done there and then.

Sorry rocky, yet another trip to Lala land zzzzzz

 Once again, rehab orders were given, box rest following the injections, then basically straight line walking in hand twice daily for 10 minutes, well, ok, in for a penny..... the first few days when he obviously felt a bit sore post treatment was good, then, oh my word, I turned him out as discussed in a small field, and he just looked awesome, he obviously needed to let off steam, which he did in some style (!) and to see his body moving how it should, was great. He clearly felt goooood. 

 Now you would think this is the end, right? Sadly not! 

 During our check-ups the joints have been inspected thoroughly for any flair ups, to which I'm pleased to report have been zero, so Janette was adamant that these are now not a current issue. His rehab of the 10min walking twice daily has been ongoing but in a negative, almost demoralising way with the behaviour now absolutely extreme, to the point where I was leading him out, he leapt off all fours, stood vertical, tried to box with me and flipped over backwards on the lane even though he was on his chain head collar which he is usually perfectly behaved on. Deflated, defeated, gutted, all the feelings you never want to feel flooded my body, and yes I cried, if I can't do rehab, there is no future, how long before he does something so stupid he breaks himself beyond repair? How long before he hurts someone? Do I make THAT decision?....

 I turned him out and sat in my car, completely numb, not knowing what to do, at no point did I think the behaviour was now pain related, not one bit, this was spring grass and a lack of brain work, Janette and Sorcha both agreed from the outset that he is a serious thinker and (like me!!) over thinks everything, the kind of horse who thrives on work, and is now feeling absolutely fantastic bodily but the brain is not engaged! 

Once my numbness disappeared I sent Janette a text asking for help, I just didn't know where to go or what to do, Janette phoned me and we had a long chat about him, actually several times that day, I even mentioned the PTS option, which wasn't going to be an option in Janette's eyes, we've come this far, we can go further, but how? I simply cannot do rehab!! 

 Well, there was another option I hadn't considered, work! Try working him and see what happens! After all, he's either going to kill himself being stupid, or break through work, so let's see what happens.... 

 

 May 17...

 It's been quite possibly the most traumatic start to 2017, but on Tuesday 2nd May, Janette returned for another check up to see how work was working out, and watched him work, to which she signed him off and told me she looks forward to seeing him competing again soon!!! I literally couldn't have been happier.

Since working, rocky has been angelic, ok, we've had the odd "moment" and I've had to show him he can, where he thinks he can't, and no doubt he will find things hard for a while, as he overthinks it and remembers it hurting, but showing him it's fine, and that it doesn't hurt is the only way he will get over it. 

 

The most noticeable things since he has been treated are his natural ability to engage, really use his hocks and soften his topline, all of which I had noticed were disappearing previously, despite all effort through schooling to correct it, and the feeling through the saddle is one of riding a waterbed rather than a plank!!!

 

I may have to touch wood before writing this bit *touches wood* but so far hacking has been much less of an issue too, we have successfully been up hills and down them, which have been a bone of contention for us in the past, but now he feels like he can do it, where as I firmly believe the behaviours (barring the odd spook leap buck excitement) has been a lot to do with pain, going downhill was clearly painful as he had to “sit” and uphill he had to “push”, so I’m really hoping that now he can do it, he will be easier to hack, watch this space for that!!

 

I'm not sure what the future holds, after all, the injections may wear off, there may be other reasons, but for now I'm going to enjoy having my boy back and crack on! 

 

Why did I write this? Well to be honest I was pretty fed up of hearing how some people were talking about what may/may not be wrong with rocky, speculation seemed rife and instead of having to explain to every individual, I thought I'd tell it like it really is and lay it to rest. I've nothing to hide from anyone, some people keep quiet about such things, but as mentioned, the things I was hearing from gossips actually made me quite cross, people are so quick to invent rubbish when they only know 1% of the truth!! 

 

Over the past 9 months I have learnt a lot, mostly about equine anatomy (!), but mainly to listen to your horse, if something is out of character, don’t let it fester, investigate, you never know what could be wrong.

 

I hope the next blog I write will be informing you of the progress made and the plans afoot… fingers and toes crossed x